philosophical me, reflections of time

A scream across the skies

scream across the skies

Our hearts beat for the one we love said an ancient sage
Nay said the rational sage
It beats to keep us alive
I ask the sages of all ages
How do you live without the one you love.

Where is the beauty promised by beauty
When I long to see only your eyes
What is the joy in all I do
when I long only to see you smile.

How do I lift the veil of mist
To see me in your midst
How do I make you see
All that is me
Is only a prayer to you.

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philosophical me

Prayer to a mortal

project gutenburg
What language shall I speak to thee
To tell how I feel
To plead to allow me to steal
A new smile for your lips.

What words should I choose
To tell you that I only want to see you greet the morning Sun
I only long to see you sleep
I dream to feel the air you breathe.

Teach me to speak the inaudible words
To let you know that I love you now
And shall love you till my grave withers away
To tell you that false hopes of owning your heart
Is the only thing that keeps my heart from giving away.

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reflections of time

One Last Time

Thanks to the times we live in I doubt if at least one inspirational speech, we heard in our lives, did not allude to one of the most overused couplets of our time

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

I had a rather unromantic tryst with these words first penned by Robert Frost, it was a part of my English language syllabus in class 8th or 9th, I can’t exactly recall. But like all great pieces of art or science if you are meant to learn it because someone else decided you should, this piece of literature is no longer a great specimen of human creativity but is experimental rat meant to be dissected, questioned. At least some part of the soul of this couplet has not touched me.Every now and then I feel like rebelling against the thought behind this couplet. Even if the undercurrent known to me might be wrong, howsoever unlikely it is, any other undercurrent interpreted by me would have invariably led to me getting less marks in English exam :D. Worse still, i ran the risk of being branded a duffer. Whatever might be the reason, today I find myself concurring with the majority that frost ignored the beauty that lay all around him for he had unfinished business. He chose to psi(a kgp lingo, i could not resist using,) the beauty that lay all around him.

It is malady that has struck us all. Many a times I find me and all I know ignoring all the good things around us. Being a guy whose many a reaction are driven by his sense organs, I shall allude to good food. I have been a diabetic for over to years now. Yet the day I confirmed my suspicion that sooner or later I was going to be a diabetic still rings in my mind. My limping steps towards the emergency ward in Kolkata’s daffodils hospital with no one by my side. my lonely night in the hospital cabin and the pleas of the attendant to switch channels as I was watching the race of the season. the race where Kimi snatched victory from Hamilton. :D. What a race it was. When the senior doctor came and scolded his junior in front of me for diagnosing my three days of non-stop bleeding and told him to test me for blood sugar I did not need to wait for the test results to know what the outcome was. But curiously enough I did not feel sad. Years of mental preparation paid through. I thought that from tomorrow I am not going to have sweets so lets indulge. The taste of the melting cookies and chocolates still linger on in my mind. From that day on I have had one non sugar-free ice-cream to celebrate that I had successfully controlled my taste buds for two years. Four chocolates ,10 sweets, two pastries and one or two cold drinks. I guess that’s pretty good.Nowadays if I do decide to indulge my sweet tooth, it is a very special occasion. So, I take extra pleasure in each bite knowing full well that the next bite might come after a considerable length of time. In some ways no one enjoys his sweet in the manner I do.

Continuing with the theme of this blog.I sometime know that I will have to let go of certain material objects, figurative hopes. However, I feel a compulsive urge to indulge for one last. I did not have any siblings at home so almost anything precious, I had,  was collected by my cousins. But on the last day I found myself indulging in my precious to my heart’s content. This kind of extended to my emotional self. Due to several twists of life, I found myself hopelessly in unrequited love. Some say everything is fair in love and war. But I play my wars within ambit of fixed rules and my quest for love had some queer rules driven by my need to possess a false sense of self-righteousness. One day I decided that I wont ever try for her love again. But then again I had to try one last time.. Indulge one last time knowing full well that some things can’t happen.

Thus I sum up my life with quotes:

I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

But the woods are lovely, dark, and deep

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my life, philosophical me

Dreams of Insomniac slumber

most men dream while they sleep
Sweet dreams broadens their imaginary lips and makes them smile
lengthen their slumber in hopes of living the dream just a few more heartbeats.

Nightmares widens the real eyes, mutes the sweet lullaby, drives away the sleep
We draw solace in the more comfortable reality
We throw up prayers for the sweet dreams to come to pass
to lock away the nightmares in some corner far away from the world we breathe.

But my sweet dreams come to my life when I am wide awake
I fear the thought of dreaming about you while I sleep
I may never want to wake up
to break my dream of you by my side as I dream.

My nightmares are all about losing you
Although I only dream of winning the love of you
Tell me love how do I lengthen my slumber with my eyes wide awake
How do I embrace the decree of the Gods, chase away my nightmares
for I have not dreamt in my sleep.

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philosophical me, romantic comedy

rumblings on 23rd December

With every passing strand of time,

I find myself at the mercy of the same Gods
I can’t reconcile with the truth
that you will love someone else.
I find myself bereft of words
Rhythmic verses have transformed into hollow proses.
My heart bleeds to win your heat
My eardrums strain to hear your voice
My mind conjures images to fool my eyes
To tell me that you are here.
My mind create false hopes
that I create a situation
to hear your thoughts.
This is the last stage of bargaining.
A last prayer telling the Gods
I seek not the lighthouse
but the distant warmth of the rays
to bring a smile to my lips.
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life, philosophical me, reflections of time

beauty and sexy

In the twilight of my teenage years, sexy had an devilish forbidden tinge to the emotions and reactions evoked. But beauty was always beautiful, always good, always heavenly, always worshiped.
That brings out the question before me today what is beautiful and who is sexy. Even this very question has in it a few threads of the fabric on which i shall attempt to answer this question to myself.Rather it is probably my flawed interpretations that results in the based use of the words who and what. This gangotric bias means i search for abstract beauty and material sexiness.
Thanks to the lots of page 3, we often come across rankings of the most beautiful and sexy personalities, actress, celebrities and even first ladies. now what is that makes Hema Malini or a Megan Fox beautiful in the eyes of the scribes.The truth is I don’t know.One documentary i saw in my kgp days tries to answer this question in terms of mathematical ratios, the host who is the new Q of james bond franchise compared the ratios of his own face and that of Liz hurley :D.
But I am still not convinced, I have five sense organs and a mind that dreams and dreams a lot. The only beacons I acknowledge as light is the statement by Keats “A thing of beauty is joy forever“. Joy that can enter your hearts through eyes,ears,touch,nose, tongue and even lazy ruminations of the days gone by.Since Keats had no words for sexy, I shall stick to the mathematical definition of sexy or as Sheldon told abt his sister in big bang theory “having the right amount in right places”. This may be sexist post, but it is intensely personal n hence contains a guys perspective.
This is more of a monologue to me counting the infinite number of reasons as to why i feel ******* is the most beautiful person I have ever met in my life. Since my liking for her is destined to go unrequited, I have made a zillion attempts to like someone else to declare some as more beautiful, but i guess I am the hitler of 1944 fighting on two doomed fronts. For those of who dont know who ******* is, it will stay that way but I guess a bulk of the people who read my blubber know who she is. Unfortunately she no longer reads my blog I guess. As regards to things photographs are probably the most beautiful things man can make and corals and Arunachal the second most beautiful things God can make.
Talking about sexy, it has a very mundane connotations, at least for me, I may find my worst enemy to be sexy but I don’t think they will ever be beautiful, a person for whom I will risk my life. I don’t think i am selfless enough to say I like someone more than me, but probably things and persons I consider beautiful would precede me on my only escape ladder. I guess the post has already turned out to be long enough, so I try to put topper of my sexy list.
********** (Don’t ask me why I don’t know )
Jessica Alba
Megan Fox
lamborgini
concorde
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life, philosophical me, reflections of time

unrequited Love of my unrequited love

I plead, I beg, I scream, I pray I cry
for it to leave me alone
Yet it still comforts my eyes
When I cry all alone.
When my eyes scream
“No more tears to rain”
It make me dream
About Dancing in the rain
With the one I wish I live on till eternity
And my tears go away to the distant island of reality.
Requited love is only a crown of thorns
that forever conspires to keep you forlorn.
The pain of parting makes your heart shiver in fear
You need your ears to hear
You need your mind to listen
What the nose might have spoken
You need your skin to tell that she is actually here
To reassure your mind that you are near
To the one who is so dear.
In unrequited love, I meet, I kiss, I love my love
When I wish,when I want where I claim
For I can dream when i wish, where I want.
I need no music, no sight, no fragrance, no touch
For I can dream what I want and how I want
For I am the love of unrequited love .
Yet I wish for the crown of thorns
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