bike, humour, materialistic philosophy, my life

Antonyms and Synonyms (Oh fuck !! and Oh sex!!)

All the dictionaries of the world unite in proclaiming  antonym as a word opposite in meaning while synonym is a word that has the same meaning. I can’t speak for all languages but the ones claiming to be an authority in English, there is little ambiguity in the matter. But over the course of our lives, we also use words outside the recommended vocabulary of the parliament. The ignorant and not so ignorant classify these words as slang. This classification is not entirely wrong but what is not wrong need not be right. I have a self-proclaimed pseudo-intellectual who need his dose of intellectual masturbation.I call this facet of our vocabulary as swear words.

Fuck and sex. No matter in which language you speak, the verbal interpretation of sexual intercourse lends its vocal syllables to swear words. Although, I do not need any certificate from any censor board, and I am  a fan of the writers of GodFellas, I guess it will serve my post no purpose if I elaborate on my exhaustible knowledge of derivatives of fuck in different human languages. In short fuck and sex in human vocabulary  is ubiquitous. I hope I have put my point across.

Now comes the part of the post wherein I dwell on the conflicting emotions that drove me to write this post. Although sex and Fornification under consent of king  essentially mean the same thing to a laymen, when he swear he means entirely different context in both the use cases. I used the term laymen for the overwhelmingly large percentage of my rationalist and hyper intelligent friends can go to any lengths to research all the garbage under the sun and create a ten thousand word long essay on the difference in meaning of fuck and sex. Having shut down the critics with the most infallible argument -“Please suppress your rationality” , it’s now time to come back to the topic. I can’t help wondering how many of our conversations would read like if we had interchanged the words. To drive the point home, I shall first give a brief background of the situation.

So here are a few of imaginary conversations

  • One of your friends of opposite sex (I know they are rare if you are a male iitian), looks full of energy for a competition.I hope you get the idea and fill the dots and blanks. You cheer her up saying you look all sexed up for the occasion. I am sure you will still be friends after that. Imagine trying to encourage saying you look fucked up for the occasion.
  • Your friends girlfriend is looking real hot and you are with your girlfriend. (yeah yeah Utopia, what the hell!! lemme create a world I please in my blog ), You compliment her saying that she looks sexy. I guess she would be happy.I think saying that she looks like fuck wont qualify as a complement besides the other side effects that might occur.
  • To end it all from where it all started, I was thinking of a few mods to my bike and exclaiming in my mind that it will look like sex, if every some one uses fuck in relation to my bike I would really start pitying the intelligence of the person.

I guess that is enough in this interesting observation which I find quite humorous.

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kaygeepee

Comedy in crisis

All good things in life must end. As one of the friend says even love comes with expiry date. But again too much of everything is bad. So, also my stay in kgp, although was a wonderful journey, the thought that some-other journey was awaiting was a not so frightening thought. I enjoyed every second of my stay in kgp. But there are some moments that forever brings out a smile and even fewer moments that make you want to scream in disbelief.

By your buddha year any dual degree students know what he wants to do with his last year in kgp. I wanted a year with minimal academic interference. The first step in this direction is to take courses whose syllabus is less. In this pursuit, i took information theory and coding, for non electronic students, the subject name and matter is of little significance. We duals were only 17 and my wing-man in more ways than one -Lodu- did not take this course. So, I find myself as one of the only 2 duals in this class. The other dual was Kishore the only dehli(for non kgpians, a dehli is a 10 pointer), so as a sincere six point someone, i felt it was the moral responsibility of my high cg friend to tell me of all tests etc. I have omitted assignments for assignments were beneath the dignity of fifth years.

Five years in kgp creates a lot of bad habits, we are really dependent on net. If possible, we would even have our food through computer.So, both of us choose to ignore the analog exam time-table put up on our class room. We were by now used to deciphering the central time-table, finding out the subjects that were taught in same slot. It was a complex process but it could be done online so our spinal cords made us prefer it over anything else. But in fifth year some exams diverge from central time-table. This exam of ours was preponed to forenoon from after noon.

My wing man Lodu had another subject in the same slot. That subject too was pre-poned for all departmental exams of that slot were preponed. Usually, I go to Lodu’s room a few hours before exam to know the syllabus and he tells me what to study to pass.This time the syllabus was too short and he had different subject so this routine was dropped. Kishore had told me the exam was on after noon. So after waking up at 5 am and completing my morning run, I went to partake in a siesta.At around 11 am Kishore called me to confirm the exam time. By the way 11 am was the time exam ended for mid sems, I told him it is scheduled for afternoon for he had himself told me so.

While I was having sweet dreams, Lodus exam was being held in two rooms, he was surprised not to see me. But he thought against calling me for he supposed I was in the other room. Sometimes, the world really conspires against you. Anyways, blissfully ignorant that the exam is already over, I went to exam center at 2 and found to my horror that the exam is over. Initially, I was mortified but then I confirmed that Kishore too had missed it. In my mind I was laughing hysterically. I had the dehli power with me. Aggressive diplomacy and absence of our normal faculty adviser and a great Professor meant we had a re-exam.But the entire exercise was really hilarious. Probably the most hilarious experience of my life.

Today and even then I laughed at the matter but my stay in KGP would have been extended by a year had it not been for this re-exam. That is ok but the stay of only Dehli would have been extended.

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romantic comedy

The window that every geek craves for

By conventional definition, every engineer is a geek. By conventional definition, every person who manages to study his way into fooling an impossibly skewed filtering process is a geek. By conventional definition, a geek likes his workbench(computer) and knows how to use it.By conventional wisdom, a guy falls in love with a girls, dates and marries.

But if you are an iitian, none of the conventions hold true.According to some disenchanted iitians,if male female ratio is 991, our number starts from 992, the guys for whom God refused to make a girl assuming pairs are made in heaven. There are few who managed to buck the trend. But for many it is the reality of life. To give you a clearer picture of what I am trying to say let me elaborate more on the curves of the background. If as a matter of exception you(reader) happen to be a girl, please do take offense to the use of word “curve” for the only curve we are familiar with are the ones on our computer screen.Well I was trying to draw parallels with the strokes of a painter on his canvas.

Coming back to the point, we spend most of our times in front of our computer. so we definitely know how to use it. Computers and the lan is our lifeline. Movies,gtalk, music,games and occasionally for some work – we run to our computer to satisfy all our needs(pun intended).But we refuse to call all of them geek. for us a geek has to like linux and ha to hate windows. I shall not justify the reasoning behind why we chose such a convention. But among other things, peer pressure, ease ranks high. for me though, it is freedom from virus.

So, now I have established that we geeks in kgpland hate windows. Now returning to the title of my post. according to one of fellow iitians, all girls who are open to the idea of having a boy friend already have it. And while the rest of mankind used their precious college life to follow conventional dating wisdom, we dream and day dream of a never land where male female ratio is more than 20 :1000. so, I extended the hypothesis, that now that we are about to reach heaven, we shall be rewarded for our misfortune thus far.But then where are the promised forty virgins.So, i set my sights lower and I realised that breakups among couples are gods apology to singles like us.Justification:

1) We wont be a party to it.( we are singles or we know that we wont get a second chance)
2)Girls open to having boy friends will be single.
3)Girls will be most vulnerable and hence we can sympathise our way into their hearts in this window of opportunity,

Boy, we do love break ups.

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