reflections of time

One Last Time

Thanks to the times we live in I doubt if at least one inspirational speech, we heard in our lives, did not allude to one of the most overused couplets of our time

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

I had a rather unromantic tryst with these words first penned by Robert Frost, it was a part of my English language syllabus in class 8th or 9th, I can’t exactly recall. But like all great pieces of art or science if you are meant to learn it because someone else decided you should, this piece of literature is no longer a great specimen of human creativity but is experimental rat meant to be dissected, questioned. At least some part of the soul of this couplet has not touched me.Every now and then I feel like rebelling against the thought behind this couplet. Even if the undercurrent known to me might be wrong, howsoever unlikely it is, any other undercurrent interpreted by me would have invariably led to me getting less marks in English exam :D. Worse still, i ran the risk of being branded a duffer. Whatever might be the reason, today I find myself concurring with the majority that frost ignored the beauty that lay all around him for he had unfinished business. He chose to psi(a kgp lingo, i could not resist using,) the beauty that lay all around him.

It is malady that has struck us all. Many a times I find me and all I know ignoring all the good things around us. Being a guy whose many a reaction are driven by his sense organs, I shall allude to good food. I have been a diabetic for over to years now. Yet the day I confirmed my suspicion that sooner or later I was going to be a diabetic still rings in my mind. My limping steps towards the emergency ward in Kolkata’s daffodils hospital with no one by my side. my lonely night in the hospital cabin and the pleas of the attendant to switch channels as I was watching the race of the season. the race where Kimi snatched victory from Hamilton. :D. What a race it was. When the senior doctor came and scolded his junior in front of me for diagnosing my three days of non-stop bleeding and told him to test me for blood sugar I did not need to wait for the test results to know what the outcome was. But curiously enough I did not feel sad. Years of mental preparation paid through. I thought that from tomorrow I am not going to have sweets so lets indulge. The taste of the melting cookies and chocolates still linger on in my mind. From that day on I have had one non sugar-free ice-cream to celebrate that I had successfully controlled my taste buds for two years. Four chocolates ,10 sweets, two pastries and one or two cold drinks. I guess that’s pretty good.Nowadays if I do decide to indulge my sweet tooth, it is a very special occasion. So, I take extra pleasure in each bite knowing full well that the next bite might come after a considerable length of time. In some ways no one enjoys his sweet in the manner I do.

Continuing with the theme of this blog.I sometime know that I will have to let go of certain material objects, figurative hopes. However, I feel a compulsive urge to indulge for one last. I did not have any siblings at home so almost anything precious, I had,  was collected by my cousins. But on the last day I found myself indulging in my precious to my heart’s content. This kind of extended to my emotional self. Due to several twists of life, I found myself hopelessly in unrequited love. Some say everything is fair in love and war. But I play my wars within ambit of fixed rules and my quest for love had some queer rules driven by my need to possess a false sense of self-righteousness. One day I decided that I wont ever try for her love again. But then again I had to try one last time.. Indulge one last time knowing full well that some things can’t happen.

Thus I sum up my life with quotes:

I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

But the woods are lovely, dark, and deep

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6 thoughts on “One Last Time

  1. K says:

    I guess these lines from “Leisure” sum up what you say :

    What is this life if, full of care,
    We have no time to stand and stare.

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